:: it's a scary world: rants from a chemically imbalanced mind ::

:: Monday, April 29, 2002 ::

hmm... let's see here.... sharon makes a deal with arafat involving a peace treaty and then promptly proceeds to piledrive a shitload of tanks into hebron...... why am i just not surprised? i'm tellin' ya - sharon is gonna get a few million israelis killed if he doesn't learn to act like a leader who wants peace instead of a thug who wants his ass kicked. oh and you KNOW some SICK SICK SICK fanboy is gonna be bidding on THIS for some TRULY depraved purposes.......
 

:: Shaman 4/29/2002 02:25:09 PM [+] ::
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oh come ON, people! for god's sake! when you can't even use your email to plan a simple company orgy, what the HELL is this country coming to?!?! or NOT coming to, to be more precise!
 

:: Shaman 4/28/2002 11:07:00 PM [+] ::
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and that is why you do not tempt the fates by acknowledging your good fortune.... because the second you start having fun, karma steps in to pimp slap you like a red-headed stepchild.

kaTHWAK! "that'll teach you to keep yer mouth SHUT next time, spudboy!"

one of these days i'm gonna learn. probably about two minutes before i die, with my luck.
 

:: Shaman 4/24/2002 11:07:31 PM [+] ::
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okay, here's something fun to try ..... say TELEMUNDO! but do it in your best ricardo damn but i love this corinthian leather montalban voice..... accent and all.... now say COMO ESTA TELEMUNDO! ..... fun, ain't it? hehehehehehe.... yea, i'm an idiot, but i'm havin' fun and damnit that's all that really matters when you get RIGHT down to it. (also try MUY BIEN TELEMUNDO! it too sounds incredibly cool hehehehe) ..... okay... where was i ..... oh.. at the risk of endangering it all, i'll comment on the effect that my universal karmic apology may have been at least PARtially successful.... my life has had a rather positive tilt this week.... picked up a BITCHIN' ron lee/wb gallery poison ivy statuette for 19 bucks at auction.... i paid $65 for the batman mate to it and they're long out of production.... check out www.ronlee.com sometime... they make the actual figure from an unspecified metal, then that figure is dipped in a 24K gold bath and coated.... after drying, the figure is hand-painted the appropriate colors, and mounted on an onyx base with small 24K pellets at the feet of the figure... each is signed by ron lee and individually numbered.... NICE pieces if you can find 'em.... i've still got quite a ways to go on all the batman pieces but that's the fun for me... the chase :) long story short, i got damn lucky at auction.... then wb released FOUR!!! batman animated dvds on tuesday.... which of course are all sitting here on my shelf now hehehehe ...... soo all in all, things are not going badly..... and i'm not pushing the descriptive narrative any farther than that..... i'm not THAT stupid...... i'll just continue to keep my fingers crossed......
 

:: Shaman 4/23/2002 08:35:00 PM [+] ::
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oop! back to the catholics again..... if you haven't heard, the pope has called all cardinals to rome....... IMMEDIATELY..... now, MY only question is this: is he calling them back because he's finally going to actually DO something about this whole scandal? OR is he calling them back to see if any of them bothered to videotape or photograph and save copies for him...... DON'T act all indignant and pissed off..... it's a legitimate question.... c'mon! the numbers keep growing DAY BY DAY, people! this is starting to become a case of not "how many did it?" but "how many DIDN'T do it?!"..... the only solution? the total dissolution of the catholic church and the dissemination of all the church's wealth to the victims. yea, it's kinda drastic but what would you call grown priests fucking underage boys? this is the pope's chance to at least ATTEMPT to make this right (because any fool knows you can NEVER truly make this situation right!)..... we'll see what the coming days bring from the most corrupt organization in the history of the world.......
 

:: Shaman 4/16/2002 10:30:05 AM [+] ::
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man oh man.... my karmic balance is SOOOO fucked! i don't know WHAT the hell i did in a previous life but it MUST'VE been a doozy..... god knows i've had my share of regrettable actions and peccadillos during this current lifespan but near as i can figure, in a previous life i must've killed a nun.... or raped a priest... or killed a priest and raped a nun..... SOMEthing along those lines because that is the ONLY explanation for recent events in my life.... the ONLY explanation possible..... so, under advisement from charlie, i hereby make this proclamation to the universe as a whole:

I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR ANY ACTION DEEMED UNTOWARD, UNSEEMLY OR INHUMAN WHICH I MAY HAVE COMMITTED OR SUGGESTED TO SOMEONE ELSE AS A GOOD IDEA.

now. we'll see if that helps. it's my belief that it won't do a damn thing but make things worse but HEY! i'm willing to try anything at this point..... one more thing goes wrong in my life and i'm gonna end up in a fuckin' bell tower with a long range sniper-scope on a bolt action rifle. sigh. jesus, i'm tired. and now my chest hurts. and normally at this point, someone nearby would make a comment to the effect that if i keep this up, i'm gonna end up with a heart attack. to which my reply is........ when?
 

:: Shaman 4/15/2002 12:23:12 PM [+] ::
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holy SHIT! this whole catholic thing is just getting worse and worse as each day passes! In a letter sent to the clergy but not to the public or parishoners last month, Archbishop Rembert G. Weakland, head of Milwaukee’s Roman Catholic archdiocese, disclosed that over the past 75 years, 35 Milwaukee priests have been accused of sexual misconduct with minors. wow. that's probably the scariest number i've seen so far come out of this whole mess...... because if you play the averages game and extrapolate those numbers out i.e. if there've been 35 perverted, twisted, sick shits in milwaukee's diocese in the past 75 years, and you then assume a similar number in similar sized cities, that number begins to get larger and larger..... till basically you've proven that the catholic church is nothing more than a hiding place for abusive, sick, mentally deranged men who like to prey on minors. least that's the way it looks to my eyes. and people wonder why i refer to myself as a recovering catholic.... THERE'S why! who in the hell would want to admit being a part of an organization which engaged in SUCH a widespread conspiracy to protect their priests at the cost of MINORS!!!! and in my never humble opinion, there is NOTHING the papacy can do to clean this one up. no amount of monetary settlements, no amount of excommunications, nada. in my world, the catholic church is tainted forever by the stain of this sickness..... ANY good they've done through history has basically been completely wiped out by these latest revelations. not as if they've done much good through history..... let's face facts - raping foreign lands and forcing foreign peoples to worship THEIR version of "god" ain't exactly at the top of the "good deeds" list.... and if you're sitting there shaking your head and muttering 'what the hell is he talking about', go out on the web today and do a little searching/reading on the inquisition and the crusades..... those two events should've been the FIRST clue that the catholic church was about nothing more than oppression and hatred.

i know, i know... i'm really on a binge with this whole catholic thing..... got no choice, though.... being born in, raised in, tortured in the catholic church and then finally realizing what a sick, infested wormhole it is and leaving "mother church" gives me a somewhat unique and particularly vicious perspective :) the "rock of st peter" has left me with some indelible memories i keep hanging around to fuel my hatred.... penguins with bad attitudes on power trips (sister mary delellis - wherever you may be, may there be a special heated space ready for you on dante's fifth level.... the one reserved for the wrathful and sullen......)..... priests who used "god" and the bible to scare students into belief in 'the word'..... (neighnabor, i know they're holding a spot for you on the eight level of hell - the one for panderers, evil counselors, seducers and hypocrites.).... sigh... man, this species just sucks.

okay, ending on a high note - for those of us who are old enough to remember hollywood squares when it was REALLY GOOD... you know, when paul lynde, george gobel, rose marie, vincent price and a list of other now dead or near dead people were the stars.... as opposed to today's version with a bunch of washed up, has-been nobodies and the occasional real celebrity... where everything's scripted ..... no, in the old days you never knew WHAT some of these people were going to say... esPECIALLY paul lynde... he was a seriously twisted dood.... so in remembrance of good tv gone by, here are some KILLER old question/answers i dug up from some squares transcripts... i think vincent price has the single best line in the list though hehehehehehe

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years
old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
 

:: Shaman 4/14/2002 09:04:57 AM [+] ::
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and it's off to the makers mark plant in loretto today.... time for my bimonthly trip to buy lots of inventory :) damn but i do love playing mister junior businessman..... if you haven't been keeping up on the middle eastern crisis, it's just getting progressively worse. i don't think sharon realizes what a world of miserable pain he's guaranteeing for the people of israel.... if he thinks the suicide bombings will stop in light of his military pushes all across palestinian territory, he's retarded. they're gearing up for a whole new wave of attacks and it won't be pretty..... supposedly many palestinians are being trained for suicide attacks as i type this.... which brings me to the thought of exactly HOW difficult can it BE to train a suicide bomber?!?! pretty simple - walk into a crowd of people, pull pin. doesn't get much simpler. of course, its the ultimate in on-the-job training.... no "trial runs", so to speak hehehehehehe.... shouldn't laugh about that.... hehehehehe... can't help it though :) this whole situation is just so damned surreal... these people MUST realize they're pushing us all closer and closer to another world war or something similar..... are the israelis such fanatics that they'll flush the world, as we know it, down the drain for the sake of holding onto a patch of dry, arid land that pretty much won't grow shit? sigh. one man's treasure, i guess.... reminds me of the old sam kinison bit on people who live in the desert/africa/etc - "you're starving because you live where you CAN'T GROW FOOD! MOVE TO WHERE THE FOOD IS, ASSHOLES!" ..... and on another note, if you haven't been keeping up on the destruction of the catholic church, oooooWWWEEEEE! man, those catholics REALLY know how to screw things up, don't they! bishop law of boston, a sick twisted catholic conspirator, apparently refuses to resign... yea, that's it, law - make things that much harder for the catholic church in a world where they've largely become an ugly anachronism..... some "member of the church" you are..... not that i mind, of course - i'd love for nothing more than to see the catholic church destroyed once and for all.... sick, pedophiliac fucks.... had a discussion with a current catholic about the whole thing the other day and it is fucking AMAZING how these people will stand by the church! JESUS! no pun intended. HOW in the name of "god" can you stand up for an organization that COVERS UP the molestation of CHILDREN!!!! to put it in the UGLIEST terms possible so maybe the truth will smack some people in the forehead - HOW can you stand behind a "religion" that gives it tacit approval to GROWN MEN FUCKING CHILDREN AND COVERING IT UP!!! god DAMNIT! wake up people! trace the history of the church back and tell me what you see! EVIL EVIL EVIL!!! the crusades.....the spanish inquisition..... the hiding and protection of nazis during and after world war ii...... these are NOT isolated incidents! do you NOT see a pattern here?!?!? and now we're faced with their active and ongoing campaign to, at all costs, protect the "mother church" at the expense of everyday people and KIDS. ya get the feeling this shit REALLY bothers me? and what really scares me is the number of these cases that ARE flying under the radar of the press and being totally missed! i've seen all these facts and bullet points about molestation cases against the church in the past few years and seeing NO mention of some major suits in recent times - hell, as recent as a few years ago, monsignor leonard neneighbor (sp?) here in this region was disgraced and shuffled quietly someplace else by the church for molesting scores of altar boys over the past few decades..... as far as i'm concerned, the catholic church is now nothing more than a sick hiding place for diseased individuals and molesters. end it. burn it. destroy it. sigh. damn... forgot how much this shit works me up ..... must stop now.... need coffee.... need smokes.... need lower blood pressure.....
 

:: Shaman 4/13/2002 09:09:36 AM [+] ::
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three cheers for the catholic church! turns out one of their priests may have had a hand in the creation of NAMBLA! for those of you who aren't sure what NAMBLA is, it is probably the single sickest organization in the history of "civilization".... though how anyone can call a society where NAMBLA exists civilized is WAY beyond me. North American Man Boy Love Association. and yes, it's exactly what it sounds like - an organization to promote the "healthiness" and "normalcy" in sexual relationships between men and boys.... and YES, we're talking UNDER AGE boys..... okay, again, i can understand a lot of fetishes and perversities..... but how in the hell these "people" could ever think sex between men and boys is right is WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY fucking beyond me.... so far beyond me that i can't even begin to come up with a cute analogy. and likewise, how the catholic church could let all this crap go on KNOWINGLY for years and decades and CENTURIES, i'll never know. again, are you people beginning to understand why i think ALL organized religion is EVIL EVIL EVIL?!?! you wanna worship "god", BE MY GUEST. why do you feel the need to be inside a building with a bunch of other people and statues to do it?! me, i think i'll just go on worshipping my computers and buffy the angel slayer/angel the tv series. because my worshipping them is doing about as much good as the average person's worshipping of "god". (so when WAS the last time he answered your prayers? and don't give me that existential CRAP about everytime something good happens to you, it's the work of "god". show me a letter from him....an email... SOME kind of solid reply or proof and THEN we can talk.)
 

:: Shaman 4/09/2002 12:42:38 PM [+] ::
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the worst possible thing i could have ever possibly done. and i've done it. created a dedicated personal digital vcr pc with its own tv tuner card and a vcr hooked up to it... along with cable. oh shit. i remember why i quit watching tv years ago. because its like cotton candy.... its gooooood.... and yummy...... and empty..... but goooood.... and yummmyyy....... NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shitshitshit.... i'd rather be a crack addict, i think...... dammit.... and the cartoon network at night is insidiously amusing, i'm never going to get ANYTHING done! and its less than two feet away from me now.

ah hell.
 

:: Shaman 4/07/2002 09:02:27 PM [+] ::
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Rumsfeld promises no torture of suspect - U.S. to control Zubaydah’s questioning

hehe. hehehehehehehehehe. heheheheahahahahahaha. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aha hehehehe. hehe.

that rumsfeld.... man, he is a CARD!
 

:: Shaman 4/03/2002 07:43:19 PM [+] ::
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oh man oh MAN ........... THIS is NOT what i want to hear as i'm shutting down to crash for the nocturne..... well, goodbye kazaa.... it was fun while it lasted. consider your software no longer welcome on this netpig's pc...... damn...
 

:: Shaman 4/03/2002 12:16:35 AM [+] ::
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okay, i'm just joe schmoe in nowhere, usa but it STILL didn't take me long to figure out that israeli prime minister ariel sharon doesn't WANT peace.... he wants war.... c'mon! how long will it take the actual leaders and the rest of the world theater to realize this one simple fact?!?!?! the silly shit is over SEVENTY FIVE years old! WHY he's still in power is WAY beyond me.... again - simple realization - he has fought a continuous war with the palestinians and middle easterners his entire life! he knows nothing else!! we're talking about a man who sent troops into arafat's building in ramallah, took over the floor above AND below and are now sitting. waiting. for what, we don't know..... word from sharon to kill arafat? could be. after all, sharon IS the man who said he regrets not having a sniper take out arafat years ago when he had the perfect opportunity.... and dubya with his TOTAL lack of foreign policy skills is just making the situation worse.... on sunday he signs off on the un resolution to demand israel pull out from their latest palestinian incursion....... then later in the day he STUPIDLY tells the press "yea, but i understand sharon's actions!" LOVE that dual message you FUCKER!!! he's gonna get us all killed, you realize. or at least get the rest of the arab world pissed enough at us to really cause some problems.... jesus... when WILL this shit end?!?! (when they all kill each other.......!)
 

:: Shaman 4/02/2002 01:04:33 PM [+] ::
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oooooh. THIS pretty much sums up my day and how i feel right now in one simple soundbite.

fuckin' a.
 

:: Shaman 4/01/2002 11:12:24 PM [+] ::
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