:: it's a scary world: rants from a chemically imbalanced mind ::

:: Thursday, August 29, 2002 ::

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! as i sit here chuckling the most evil mad scientist laugh imaginable, i'm reading an OH so interesting article which purports that one possible explanation for simian resistance to the aids virus is that aids wiped out a HUGE (we're talkin' 90 percent here!) portion of the simian population about 2 million years ago and the only ones left were those with a natural immunity to aids or an aids type virus...... uh..... are you getting the picture here? that aids could be as close as the human race might come to actual extinction? imagine.... the possibility that the ONLY way we'll ever get rid of aids is AFTER it's run a course through the planet's population.... and only about 10 percent of us are left..... ra's al ghul would be proud...... (obscure reference only 3 or 4 of you might actually get.)...... and yes, it amuses the shit out of me to think that all the religious MORONS who believe that aids is a curse from "god" and idiots of that ilk might finally be proven wrong........ right about the time that the human race effectively goes kaput..... my oh my. what was it louis armstrong said? what a wonderful world............... read here if you'd like to go a little more in depth...
 

:: Shaman 8/29/2002 07:42:46 PM [+] ::
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WOHOO! i'm addicted to the most "immoral show on television"! christ. don't these people have SOMEthing better to do with their useless lives?!?! go worship christ or something........... where do all these religious freaks get the time to watch all this tv?!?! isn't that kind of like tasting the forbidden fruit?

Hit TV program Buffy The Vampire Slayer is the most immoral show on TV, according to right-wing American group, the Parents Television Council. The reactionary pressure group also claims that last year Buffy "became more graphic in its depictions of violence and sex." The organization criticized American comedy Friends for its depiction of promiscuous lifestyles, such as Jennifer Aniston's character Rachel Green having a baby out of wedlock. Another comedy, Will And Grace, was also slammed for its depiction of a gay man and his straight female best friend. The PTC instead want to see more of a TV shows like Doc, which is about a country doctor living in the city.
 

:: Shaman 8/29/2002 07:53:26 AM [+] ::
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we don't deserve this planet. we don't deserve to take up space in this universe. mankind is sick beyond repair, depraved beyond belief and absolutely beyond absolution.

why, you ask? be warned, this is NOT for the faint of heart or the weak. read on...........
 

:: Shaman 8/26/2002 07:59:47 AM [+] ::
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BURN IN HELL, JOHN ASHCROOOOOOFT!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

FINALLY, a court basically tells our "beloved" attorney general to collectively fuck off. it's about damn time.

and on a sidenote - HUH??!! i will never ever ever understand the catholic church. ever. not that i support opie and anthony's moronic stunt in any way, but what, it's okay for hundreds of catholic priests across the nation to fondle and molest underage boys but a couple has sex in a cathedral and it's major u.s. news?!?! oh come ON people! are you saying nobody's EVER had sex inside a church before???? i think we can track down a few thousand ex-altar boys who might say differently...... "The Catholic Church: We INVENTED the term HYPOCRITE!". stupid bastards.
 

:: Shaman 8/23/2002 09:48:09 AM [+] ::
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FINALLY, somebody in the news media has the balls to point out the OBVIOUS.....

Video footage of al-Qaida operatives poisoning dogs has upset and infuriated animal lovers.

But one group is saying American outrage is a tad hypocritical. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says that the Israeli government has conducted similar tests and the U.S. government routinely does. The video of the tests is classified, a PETA spokesman tells The Scoop, but the group has obtained footage from 1977 that shows Israeli soldiers injecting and killing a dog (which can be viewed at peta.org).

“A March 17, 2000, article in the Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz reported that experiments carried out by the Israel Defense Forces on animals were so horrific that the soldiers forced to conduct them had to seek psychological counseling,” the PETA rep told The Scoop. “Each year, 320,000 primates, dogs, pigs, goats, sheep, rabbits, cats, and other animals are used by the U.S. Department of Defense in military experiments at a cost to taxpayers estimated to be in excess of $100 million.. . . What the al-Qaida did to that dog was appalling, but let’s be honest with ourselves that we and our allies are guilty of the same sort of barbarism.”

you DID realize you were being manipulated by the american media, right? because as we all know, we're coming up on 09/11/02 pretty quickly and the gov't wants to make DAMN sure you don't soften in your hatred for all things al-qaida and middle eastern..... the more you hate, the more you're willing to stand behind dubya the dumbass when he goes off half-cocked and attacks iraq..... (and probably lays the groundwork for world war III)..... c'mon people, wake the fuck UP! god forbid i EVER agree with "peta" on anything, but in this case they're right..... look up and you might even see a set of puppet strings leading up to the skies.............
 

:: Shaman 8/21/2002 07:37:45 AM [+] ::
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and for every human who just doesn't understand why i DON'T TRUST ANIMALS, read here. they're ANIMALS.... there is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me believe they are truly "intelligent"... they do things out of instinct. ANY animal with sharp teeth that is capable of inflicting more than a simple scratch on a human is suspect in my world. because you NEVER know when they might turn on you for no reason whatsoever.

or maybe i'm just in a reaaaallly black fucking mood today. i've already had to deal with one person who just CAN'T get the concept of "signing onto a network" into his head and another who insists on using a $10000 color printer for printing black and white copies and i know there's more silly shit just around the corner..... how? i can sense it, dood..... i can just sense it.......
 

:: Shaman 8/20/2002 10:37:59 AM [+] ::
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if you haven't heard of or seen the trailer for "ghost ship" yet, go HERE! now THAT is a movie i'm dying to see.... looks like the stand meets deep rising......... muahahahahahaha! and of course, at number one this week again, XXX!! woo! if you haven't, why deprive yourself? what, waiting for the next big important movie about feeling and interpersonal relationships? get a fucking grip. go have some escapist fun, kids.

and BY the way..... to all you health freaks and wackos out there who've been screaming at people like me for years saying we don't drink enough water! no, coffee doesn't count because is dehydrates you! and yatta yatta yatta hippie bullshit...... READ THIS DAMMIT! i can't tell you how many people in my life and how many articles i've read that have told me i'd feel better and "be happier" (be happier?! what color is the sky in your world, skippy?!) if i just drank more water. no, idiots - my brains wired FUNKY! it took medication to make me happy! i just use the water to wash it down.

goddamn hippies.
 

:: Shaman 8/19/2002 09:01:01 PM [+] ::
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oh DOOD! i just realized scooby-doo meets batman hits dvd on tuesday! WOOOOOO!!!


okay. maybe it's just me.

BUT SCOOBY MEETS BATS!!! WOOOOOOO!!!

 

:: Shaman 8/17/2002 07:48:15 PM [+] ::
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oh MAN oh man, the ideas i could come up with... the money to be made!!! the ethics to be destroyed! wow. for the first time in a long time, i can't decide just which side of the fence i'm on for this one........ but cloning pets.... what will those crazy humans come up with NEXT?!?!
 

:: Shaman 8/16/2002 11:28:05 PM [+] ::
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and THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why i quit giving a good shit about sports.... oh, i've never been a NUT for sports but once upon a time, back in the day, i used to LOVE to watch the occasional cincy reds baseball game with grandad (old dood was SOOOO blind, even WITH his pepsi bottle thick glasses, he had to sit within TWO feet of the 27 inch screen. jesus. but he never missed one as long as i knew him.) and i used to really dig watching football.... basketball is okay but it was just never my thing.... moved too damn fast and you had to expend too much energy..... i don't THINK so, mister magoo... but sometime in the late 80s, baseball became a Business. okay, EVERY sport is a business but baseball is a Business now. it's big, it's official and it's fraught with labor disputes and contract negotiations..... huh??? when i think baseball i wanna think johnny bench making a bitchin' catch out at home as he tags the runner comin' in from third! or pete rose smackin' one out into left field and winning another $2000 bucks off his own hit! er... or something like that... but baseball just quit being fun. i seem to be getting a little interested in football again thanks to madden 2002 for the xbox (damn you charlie... burn.... BURN!!!!) aaaaand it seems to still be a game..... and on a related sidenote, THIS kind of thing is what you breed when the major league players and owners turn the game into the stinking pile of shit it is. ALL THAT over a little league tourney game?!?! tournament or not, IT'S THE GODDAMNED LITTLE LEAGUE! talk about warping a kid's viewpoint for life........... oh and if you're curious about madden football, here is probably the funniest review of a videogame i've ever read in my life.... and yes, i occasionally read espn news, believe it or not.
 

:: Shaman 8/15/2002 10:20:04 PM [+] ::
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HELL no... of COURSE the greenhouse effect doesn't exist! it's just some damn hippy plot! uh.... and if you missed the inherent sarcasm, go back and click the link, oh ye of thickness... as much as i'd like to see the planet paved, i do NOT want to see it covered with floating black clouds of killer pollution. christ. if it's not one thing, it's another. like anna nicole.... oh my GOD can a human life be ANY more vapid and absolutely useless?!?! NO! I SAY TO YOU NO! it can't! there's NO goddamn way! this woman has taken dumb and sloth to another level. but the scariest part of all? i can't quit watching. i can't turn away. i muuuuuuuuuusssssst waaaaattttch.
 

:: Shaman 8/11/2002 10:36:27 PM [+] ::
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what do i like to do on a sunday afternoon? wait expectantly for the preliminary box office totals to be released! okay, it's a weird little habit but one i enjoy...... this week, looks like xxx comes out on top (where IS my surprised look?!?!) to the tune of 46mil... 2nd was held down by signs with 30mil, then by spy kids 2 with 17mil, 4th was goldmember with 13mil and clint's latest blood work with 7.2mil.... not a bad haul for some bunch of coke snortin' hollywood producers, eh..... xxx did rock, i must say..... saw it first thing saturday and felt it was five bucks well spent.... blood work looks like a wait for dvd movie to me.... and i'm still undecided about seeing spy kids 2 in a theater.... nothin' like a billion little snot factories to ruin an otherwise entertaining movie.....

and on an interesting (at least to me!) sidenote.... here's an amusing article! ah, if only we lived in a world where things like that could happen and i could expect them to go right........ but i'm a realist. i'd end up with the heroin junkie incest family from amsterdam staying at my place. the people in the article just got REALLY lucky, in my never humble opinion.
 

:: Shaman 8/11/2002 04:00:33 PM [+] ::
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kill them. just kill them all brutally and mercilessly. there is no defense for their actions. NONE. in a thousand thousand lifetimes, i could never find it defensible. apparently only one of them had the brains to do the honorable thing. unfortunately. because it would've saved a shitload of taxpayer money and an inevitable end result of jailtime with eventual parole if the rest of the slugs had chosen a similar route.

kill every last goddamn one of them.

A LOT.
 

:: Shaman 8/09/2002 07:14:42 PM [+] ::
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i would sue THIS son of a bitch till he didn't even own the shirt on his back. it's not bad enough you bloodsuckers charge rates that even CRIMINALS wouldn't dare to charge, you WALK OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OPERATION TO GO TO THE BANK!?!?!?!?!

holy shit.

do i really need to say "humans suck" at this point? didn't think so.
 

:: Shaman 8/08/2002 07:21:01 PM [+] ::
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a few interesting entertainment notes are what i pass along to you today.... my first question - WHY WHY WHY would you SELL a TEN. MILLION. DOLLAR. comic collection?!?! AGH!!! MORON!!

Actor Nicolas Cage is finally growing up - he's going to sell his comic book collection. Patricia Arquette's ex-husband will divest himself of the valuable items at the Dallas Comicon later this year. The collection of about 400 comics includes Action Comics No. 1, Superman's first appearance, and comics with the first appearances of Batman, Captain America and the Green Lantern. John Petty, of Heritage Comics Auctions, says the collection could "realize a value well into seven figures," and adds, "It's not so much that it's a huge collection, it's that Nic collects toward quality. He bought them in really nice condition."

you CAN'T tell me he needs the money..... nobody needs the money THAT bad.... jesus. the first appearance of bats.... and action #1..... ya maroon..... and i'm as liberal and progressive as the next sicko but JESUS - who is the schmuck that hired the latest james bond flick director?!?! dig on this, my chillun!

Film-makers of the latest James Bond movie decided to make a raunchy sex scene between stars Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry after realizing the British secret agent had never been filmed in the act. Die Another Day director Lee Tamahori says he wanted to see 007 getting down and dirty for real, rather than just the aftermath usually seen in the spy films. He says, "I keep watching these old Bond movies, which I love, and I keep saying, 'Why doesn't he actually f***? Why is it always post-coital? Why does the camera have to pan across the clothes and go up to the bed to find him drinking a bottle of champagne with his sheet up around him?' We said, 'Pierce, what do you feel about being in the first Bond movie where you get laid?' And he said, 'That'd be smashing!' So we did that. We've got Pierce Brosnan and Halle Berry bonking away." But the effort may have been in vain - Tamahori is expecting censors to excise the saucy scene so that the film will be given a rating which will allow younger Bond fans to see it.

ARSEHOLES! bond is sacred, you twits! you NEVER get to see james gettin' it on on-screen! it's just NOT DONE. it's IMPLIED! it's more fun, more interesting and more tittilating that way! sometimes the best part of a movie is the thing or act that they DIDN'T SHOW. bond in a raunchy sex scene. ARSEHOLES, i tell you. cubby brocolli never woulda let this shit happen, dammit.
 

:: Shaman 8/07/2002 11:23:23 PM [+] ::
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human perversity knows NO bounds. to prove my point, i give you EXHIBIT A.

wow. now why didn't i think of that first. sigh. (i'm being SARCASTIC in case you were unsure.)

and oh LOOK. another idiot. at least this guy had the common sense to put it somewhere it could later be hidden.
 

:: Shaman 8/06/2002 09:59:12 AM [+] ::
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so, why exactly will there NEVER be harmony between the male and females of the species? because of things like THIS!

men don't do that shit. a man just would've shot her to death. "it was an accident". yea. and i'm sure it'll be quite accidental when they slide a needle into your veins for the lethal injection. now THERE'S an execution i'd like to be present for.

man, we are one FUCT up species.
 

:: Shaman 8/02/2002 10:04:32 AM [+] ::
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that does it. monk is the single best thing currently on television. bar none.

damn but that is some BRILLIANT stuff!
 

:: Shaman 8/02/2002 12:11:51 AM [+] ::
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god. damn. sick.

christ.

humans are SUCH whores.
 

:: Shaman 8/01/2002 08:33:59 PM [+] ::
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