:: it's a scary world: rants from a chemically imbalanced mind ::

:: Monday, July 28, 2003 ::

great snack tip number 69,428,226 - for this to work properly, you should always keep a large resealable can of peanuts - plain salted, a resealable can of sunmaid raisins and a medium sized squeezable container of honey. you should always have those things in your kitchen ANYWAY but especially if you wanna do this. okay, where was i. alright, take one handful of peanuts, toss in your mouth. DO NOT CHEW. not yet, at least. now, grab a handful of raisins and again, throw them in your mouth. and again with the NOT CHEWING. now, here's the tricky part - point mouth heavenward (if you believe in that kind of thing), open honey bottle and promptly squeeze into upended mouth. the trick is not to choke on the peanuts and raisins while you wait for the slow stream of honey to hit. squeeze enough to keep yourself happy.... dealer's choice. now, please close mouth cuz frankly, it doesn't make an attractive mixture actually IN the mouth. chew and enjoy. those of you with crowns and bridges, beware. this is a tricky snack and one your dentist may end up hating you for. i know of where i speak.

and BY the way........ GOD i wish they would quit putting nazis in this damned position!!!
 

:: Shaman 7/28/2003 09:24:59 PM [+] ::
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can you even begin to imagine the time, energy and resources that are going into THIS PIECE OF CRAP while homeless still roam the streets, children are abused daily all over the world and an unjustified war continues. see. JUST when i think there might be hope for the species, one of the apes in charge just proves my original viewpoint right - humans, as a species, suck.

do we NOT have better things to do with our collective time besides hunting down POT SMOKERS?!?!?!?!?!
 

:: Shaman 7/26/2003 12:31:57 AM [+] ::
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go hiz-ouse! go hiz-ouse! go hiz-ouse! now THIS is what i call a united damn front!!

Despite threats of a presidential veto, the House of Representatives by a 400-21 vote, approved a spending bill Wednesday that included a measure blocking the FCC's recent decision to relax rules on television station ownership. The battle to block the FCC rule now moves to the Senate. "This is a real dangerous spot for [FCC Chairman Michael] Powell," Andrew Schwartzman, head of the Media Access Project, told today's (Thursday) New York Times. "He is facing a kind of Congressional repudiation of a rare kind." Today's Los Angeles Times observed that if the FCC's action is blocked by both houses of Congress, Viacom and News Corp, which acquired stations through mergers that put them over the limit of the percentage of total households a broadcaster can reach, would be forced to sell or swap many of those stations. Both companies have been operating under FCC waivers.

awwww, dubya, i think yer gonna looooooooose this one!
 

:: Shaman 7/24/2003 10:12:59 PM [+] ::
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woooo! WOOOOOO!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

now THAT is what the world needs right now!! cheech and chong back together again!! YES! oh i cannot WAIT for the new movie now..... good, old fashioned stoner humor that EVERYone can appreciate! maybe there is YET hope for this planet......

though i still think that EVEN with the above, there's still really no hope for us as a species...... but that's just me and what the hell do i know.

and in the 'aw man why you bringin' me down' department - as of today, 232 u.s. soldier deaths. and the number keeps climbing.
 

:: Shaman 7/23/2003 09:26:20 PM [+] ::
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sidenote for the day: ya know that “ice cream headache” you always get when you eat ice cream too fast? well, it is triggered by the sudden change in temperature as the ice cream touches the top of your mouth and initiates a nerve reaction that swells blood vessels in your head. the nerve center on the roof of your mouth overreacts to the cold temperature and tries to “heat” your brain. this swelling of the blood vessels is what is more commonly known as “brain freeze.” luckily the intense stabbing pain in your head usually lasts only for about 30-60 seconds. unless you're into that kind of thing. in which case, a pint of haagen-daaz could be better than sex. hmmm.... well.... if you're talking rum raisin.............
 

:: Shaman 7/22/2003 08:31:49 PM [+] ::
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if the picture below doesn't just REEK of "i'm a dumbass", i don't know what does. let's see.... he screwed up and used incorrect intel in the state of the union address, then forced us to go to war partially based on the previously mentioned bad intel, tried to scapegoat his cia director who attempted to swallow it but UH-OH! the press figured out that ol' georgie tenet had already warned dubya about using the previously mentioned bad intel in a lesser speech beFORE the state of the union so it COULDN'T really be tenet's fault and it MUST have all been dubya KNOWINGLY using bad information to prop up his dubious war plans. (now, say THAT five times fast.)

dubya - some advice here in case you stop by - QUIT LYING! admit it. you screwed up. for god's sake even clinton EVENTUALLY admitted his screwups!!! of course, he just got a blowjob from an intern. he didn't send a nation off to war and put u.s. soldiers in harm's way needlessly. (216 servicemen and women killed as of today. so far.)

"darn good intelligence". "DARN good". here's the deal, kiddies - if you're president and commander in chief, EVERY piece of intel you get regarding GOING TO WAR had better be ABSOLUTELY GODDAMNED SOLID AS MOUNT EVEREST! if it's not, DON'T ACT ON IT!! we went to WAR and disrupted not only our own nation's everyday life but AN ENTIRELY SEPERATE COUNTRY'S AS WELL!!! (that would be iraq for those who can't quite keep up.)

for now i just have to be calm and secure in my belief that historians will bear out what an utter monstrosity this entire administration has been. (and by the way, the picture below is in NO way doctored. it was the msnbc.com headline around 630p today.)


 

:: Shaman 7/14/2003 06:44:33 PM [+] ::
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"Bush admits ‘security issue’ in Iraq"

really? ya think, george? just ...... maaaaaaaybe?

i imagine the sound you hear in old horror movies when a lightbulb just BAAAARELY lights and does that weird "gzzzt...gzzzzt" thing. that's the sound i imagine you would've heard had you been in the room when it suddenly occurred to dubya that we "might have a security issue" over there at disney sahara.

at this point, to call him a bumbling clown would be an insult to bumbling clowns everywhere.
 

:: Shaman 7/10/2003 09:21:37 PM [+] ::
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okay, kids... THIS should scare the living shit out of you. and if you didn't catch it the first time, CLICK HERE NOW!!! dubya wants to make bigger bombs. oh. my. god. uh... isn't the whole NUCLEAR (or "nucelar" as the village idiot says) thing the reason we keep threatening EVERY OTHER two bit country on the planet???? well, okay, that and chemicals. but JESUS! let's make more??!! and BIGGER??!! i guess if you think of them as "nucelar" bombs, it does make it easier...after all, i'm the first to admit that "nucelar" sounds so much more goddamned fuzzy than NUCLEAR.

what ELSE does he have to do to prove to you people that he's INSANE!!! i don't mean just bi-polar or schizophrenic insane, i mean EDGAR ALLEN POE INSANE!! MUAMAR QUADAFI INSANE!! BABY DOC DUVALIER INSANE!!!

i'll never make it to the elections before i blow a blood vessel, i guarantee you. not at the rate he's moving.

intellectual sidenote - the next time you hear a newscaster talk about how "freed slaves from america founded liberia", you jump in your car, drive to where they are and beat them soundly about the face and neck with a fresh tuna. cause that's bullshit. i keep hearing more and more newscasters using that little catch phrase and something just didn't ring right about it - for the full story CLICK HERE!! but to nutshell it, it was formed by a group/organization of white men, some slaveholders at the time, who formed it to ship freed slaves to - they were cognizant of the fact that slavery was on it's way out the door whether they liked it or not - and they figured if the blacks were going to be free, that didn't mean the white man had to integrate them into HIS society.. hence, another country to ship them to. niiiiiiiiiice. "would you like some tea with that boot to the ass?".
 

:: Shaman 7/07/2003 07:40:44 PM [+] ::
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and on a sidenote - the single greatest donuts in the world are krispy kreme donuts. that simple. and if you think otherwise, you've either never had a krispy kreme or you're a blithering idiot. again, that simple. but i digress - in the interests of culinary education, there's a couple of articles you REALLY should read... wow... all KINDS of stuff i didn't know about krispy kreme !!

article 1 .................... article 2

part that REALLY sucks is... we got no krispy kreme in lexington :( but on the bright side, i always pick up 2 kk donuts on the way into work in louisville :) a glazed and a chocolate covered custard filled. occasionally a glazed raspberry filled instead of the custard. damn i love donuts. (but my favorite? cinnamon apple filled... but they're ALWAYS out by the time i get there.... DAMMIT.)
 

:: Shaman 7/04/2003 05:56:47 PM [+] ::
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alright, kiddies - here's your fourth of july gut-laugh.... hehehehe... goto http://www.google.com and type in "weapons of mass destruction" (without the quotes).... then hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. then prepare to chuckle heartily. MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! pooooooor george.... did no one EVER tell him about the boy who cried wolf??

oh and good news on the charlie chan front! read on, oh true believer........

Caught in an unexpected controversy over its decision to cancel a "Charlie Chan Festival" after receiving complaints from Asian-American groups, the Fox Movie Channel said Wednesday that it "will schedule Charlie Chan films based on the feedback of its subscribers." Fans of the Chan films had expressed outrage at the original FMC decision to cancel the "festival," observing that the character had always been portrayed respectfully, with particular emphasis on his intellect, ingenuity, and his application of the maxims of Confucius. Tim Lucas, editor of Video Watchdog magazine, told the online CNS News Wednesday that the FMC announcement "shows me that it is beginning to give some credence to the [Chan supporters'] viewpoints, who never had a chance to make their opinion known prior to the decision to cancel."
 

:: Shaman 7/04/2003 08:40:35 AM [+] ::
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i've said it before and i'll say it again - this "political correctness" bullshit has gone on WAAAAY too long and gone WAAAYY too far. HERE is just the LATEST example!!! oh come ON!! who doesn't enjoy a good old charlie chan flick??!! alright, fine it was a white guy with yellow face makeup but consider the point in history when those films were made!!! what.... we should just basically burn ANY movie and bury it in the mariana trench if it even REMOTELY was politically insensitive??!! dw griffiths birth of a nation??? yes, a DAMNED racist piece but god it's a piece of film history!!! disney's song of the south?? oh RIGHT. i hate disney and I'M incensed at the fact that it'll never see the light of day because they're "afraid to offend"! overseas? oh yea, i can buy a copy there. newsflash - we may be the biggest, baddest and strongest nation on the planet but the most enlightened? mmmmmm.... I DON'T THINK SO. (and dammit i LOVE that film!!!!!!! uncle remus rawked!!) now dammit i was REALLY looking forward to the charlie chan fest... was gonna have somebody tape it for me but NOOOOOOOOO. let's be politically-fucking-correct and doom a project that fox actually TOOK TIME WITH and had RESTORED. yea, it was a white dood in yellow face. but remember number one son? keye luke? the first american-asian movie star? geez. seems like THAT might be something worth celebrating, you idiots. there's a point where "liberal" just becomes retarded.
 

:: Shaman 7/01/2003 09:54:42 PM [+] ::
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